


Moving On

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6409720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War makes Steve move on, even if James is not quite sure he's ready.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoddessTiera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessTiera/gifts).



"Hey," Vega said, holding a box awkwardly in Esteban's personal space in Steve's space on the normandy. "Look. You don't have to do this. Not now."  
  
"It's time, James," Steve said softly, sitting down on the bed. "I've been carrying him around a long time now."  
  
" _Es tu vida_ ," James muttered. "Esteban, he was your _husband_. Shepard's gonna understand if you want that second foot locker for... _personal space._ "  
  
Esteban reached for the locker, putting in his combination as Vega crouched next to him.

"Yeah, she would," he said, his baleful blue eyes looking up. "But you know what she'd appreciate more? More space for medical supplies."

"Yeah, well..." James couldn't deny that. The bad thing about being in the middle of the apocalypse was that medical supplies were _always_ useful. And since they'd just gotten a damn crate of the things, well, putting them in the footlocker and leaving them in the shuttle bay for triage wasn't a _bad_ idea at all.

They hadn't gotten a chance to load up on med kits before they'd left earth.

"Then we're agreed," Esteban opened the locker and James crowded in for a look.

The trunk was full of little knick-knacks from his _esposo_. A box that James knew, even closed, would be full of some of Robert and Esteban's old factory manuals for some of the equipment they worked on – the old _cabron_ never liked being in the dark about what he was flying and his husband had been a thousand times worse. Under that was a model, one of Roberto's faves to fly – the old _Thunder._

Then there were several bird books, the old fashioned kind, with real pages – a silent and expensive paean to one of Robert's favorite hobbies. A few old uniforms, far too large for someone with as slim a frame as Cortez, with R. C. Neatly sewn into every damn tag. The usual engineer gear, plus an omni-tool blade, probably a spare judging by the clean state of it; a couple bottles for protein shakes were tossed to the side; a picture of two happy grooms smiling on their wedding day. He didn't need to ask to know that this had been one of the few ways they could see each other every day when they'd been assigned to different assignments.

Esteban's hands touched the first uniform's jacket, and James noticed how much they were shaking. What was the phrase his grandmother had always told him? Jittery hands, jittery heart.

"Take your time, Esteban," he said. "We got time."  
  
"Yeah," he whispered, his voice a bit hoarse. "I know."

His hands stayed on the jacket; his touch soft, tender in a way that made James feel, once again, that Esteban was making a mistake.

"Sorry," Steve whispered, looking down as he pulled his hands way. "I...haven't opened it for a while."

"It's okay." James put his hand over Esteban's. "Steve. If you don't want to..."  
  
"No. It's time. I'm moving on, living my life, it's just..." Steve whispered. "It's just hard."

"I know, _cariño_." He squeezed Esteban's hand. "But I'm here for you, yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." Steven squeezed back. ."You're a good boyfriend, you know."

"Damn straight. You're lucky to have me." He gestured toward the clothes. "Would it be easier for you if I put it in the box?"  
  
"...Yeah. Sorry."  
  
"Ey, Esteban. It's okay. Really."

James gathered up what was left of Robert's footlocker in a few handfuls. He tries to do it respectfully, but that plan went out the window when Esteban started tearing up as shirts disappeared.

"You want me to stop, man?"  
  
"No," Estaban shook his head. "Its just... It's the apocalypse, you know? And I always kind of thought he'd be here..."  
  
"He is," James said, tossing one of Robert's old coats to Esteban. "In spirit, hombre. You know he's watching and thinking _Oye cabron, you let Vega crash my shuttle? You get distracted by that fine culo, amor?_ "

Esteban looked up at him, startled, and laughed, a deep belly laugh, and shook his head. "Well, you know, if any of us was going to..."  
  
"Yeah, okay, it'd be me." He shrugged and put another handful of Robert's gear in his own box. Nearly full now.  
  
"It was for a good purpose." Esteban said. "He would be proud of you, James. Even if you _did_ wreck that shuttle."  
  
"Think he'd be more proud of you for holding in there." James reached in deep and grabbed the bird book, passing it back to Esteban. "Think he'd say he was proud of his uh..." He glanced down."...his mourning dove."

"Way to read off of the cover, James," Esteban muttered, distracted as his fingers hesitantly skimmed the picture on the cover. "I guess it's time for this to -- "

"Eeeeey Esteban. No. Don't. You keep that. Some things are priceless. Besides, Roberto, you know he would have done to you if you threw that out? _É_ _l te matar_ _í_ _a, hombre_."

"Yeah, that's true." Esteban stared at the cover and James took advantage, fishing out the last few bits of miscellany from the footlocker.

"That's it, hombre." He closed the box.

"Guess Shepard's got her triage box." He didn't reach out to take the box from James hand.

"Yeah. Good work man. That's not easy."  
  
"Yeah. Now for the hardest part..."

Esteban held out his arms, but James didn't hand over the box.  
  
"Look, Esteban, I've been thinking... I know you wanna clear out space but you don't have to rush this. You know, most of my footlocker had weights and stuff and, well, that's all set up now, you know? Seems to be like maybe we could find a place for this stuff over there."  
  
"This would take up your entire footlocker." Esteban shook his head. "I can't let you do that, James. Especially since we're..."  
  
"Hey, I've got my weight room in your cargo deck. Seems like this is a fair trade to me. You let me do push ups; I'll let you visit Roberto. Whenever you like man. Just don't... Look too deep into the bottom layer of that footlocker. That's where I keep my --- "  
  
Esteban snorted. "I don't think you have to worry about me getting jealous of your porn collection, Vega."  
  
"Yeah, well then, we on?"  
  
"Yeah," Estaban said. "We're on."


End file.
